Review: I thought about crafting this review using iambic pentameter, or, more boldly, iambic pentameter within a terza rima. That would have been all Dantesque and whatnot, but the subject matter has to warrant such linguistic exertion. This subject matter, unfortunately, does not. Maybe I'll save terza rima for the copious multitudes of Napton pizzerie we will be frequenting next summer. For now, the following couplet will suffice:
We journeyed in search of a succulent steak experience;
What we found left us perplexed and delirious.
(Yes, I know, it's an approximate rhyme. Sue me. I'm tired.)
By way of explanation, the waitress recommended the grilled beef tenderloin. "People come for miles around to eat it," she said. "Okay," I replied, "Let's do it. Medium rare. And can I have the creamed spinach?" A "sure" escaped her lips. And so, the die was cast.
The steak, cooked to medium rare perfection, came practically affogato in a port reduction that lacked depth or much flavor. The steak itself lacked salt (a common theme, as wel shall see) and had a grainy texture on the tongue. The mashed potatoes, pleasantly extruded from a piping bag, were piping cold. The creamed spinach was the best part of the dish. It was mustardy and creamy with a bit of bite still present. One element does not a dish make, however.
My wife ordered the angel hair pasta with a cream sauce, sun-dried tomatoes, chicken, mushrooms, etc. Heavy is the word that sums up this dish. Nothing lightened the palet. There were no tastes to counterbalance the cream and fat. And it was entirely undersalted.
Ultimately, there just wasn't much there.
Rating: 5/10 (5/10 is average).
Boom! Body blow!
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